


This Love Starved Heart of Mine (It’s Killing Me)

by the_genderman



Series: Various collected A/B/O fics, potentially all unrelated to each other [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: (a very short time spent pining in-fic), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Beta/Omega, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 15:51:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13954914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_genderman/pseuds/the_genderman
Summary: Sam likes Steve. Steve likes Sam. Neither one realizes this about the other. Then a crowded motel forces them to share a bed for a night. Bed-sharing, now with a/b/o dynamics.





	This Love Starved Heart of Mine (It’s Killing Me)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the Marvin Gaye song of the same name.

Steve returned to the car, frowning absently. He climbed back into the driver’s seat and leaned back and sighed. “Another lead, another dead end. I’m sorry I dragged you out on this wild goose chase, Sam. I really appreciate your company, but I’m sure there’s better things you could be doing with your time.”

“Hey, I chose to come along with you,” Sam said, looking over at Steve. “I’ve got the vacation time to take, so why shouldn’t I take it for this?”

“Thanks, I mean, but we haven’t found him, and we’re no closer than we were at the beginning of the week. I would have thought there would at least be _something_ useful we could have learned from this,” Steve said dejectedly, putting the keys into the ignition and starting the car.

“We know where he _hasn’t_ been,” Sam said, turning on the AC despite his open window. “We’re getting an idea of what he’s not doing. So far the HYDRA safehouses and weapons caches Natasha uncovered have been untouched (except for by us and the police, obviously), so it doesn’t look like they’ve got him, or that he’s gone back, or that he’s gone on a revenge tour.”

“That’s true,” Steve agreed, perking up a bit. “I guess I let the frustration of this week get to me.”

“ _And_ it’s only been a week,” Sam emphasized. “Just because we haven’t found him yet doesn’t mean we won’t. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to head back to regroup now. Maybe you could bring the rest of the Avengers in on the search? I know for a fact that Tony Stark has way more resources on hand than you and I and even Natasha do.”

Steve shook his head. “I don’t want to bring Tony in on this unless I _absolutely_ have to. It probably wouldn’t be a very good idea, and he’s got enough going on right now as it is.”

“Well, alright,” Sam shrugged. “In that case, how about we find dinner and a hotel? I’ve spent so much time in this car this week that I really don’t want to drive back to Washington tonight if we don’t have to.”

“That does sound like a good idea,” Steve said. “Did you have anywhere in mind?”

“I’ll eat just about anything right now,” Sam said, “but we passed a diner a little ways back that was advertising fresh strawberry shortcake.”

“Ooh, that sounds amazing,” Steve said. “Point me in the right direction and food’s on me.”

\--------------------------

The shortcake was absolutely worth it. Dinner was pretty good, but it was late, so there weren’t many patrons aside from him and Steve in the diner. It was quiet, letting Sam’s mind wander to places he wasn’t sure he wanted it to go as he watched Steve from across the table. He had fallen for Steve almost as soon as they had met. Of course he could be professional about it, he was a grown man with self-control, but that didn’t mean his mind never wandered.

He and Steve were friends and sort-of coworkers. Yeah, they got along great, but as far as Sam knew, Steve was straight as an arrow, and a beta at that. He’d known alphas and fellow omegas who’d be willing to bend their personal preferences in the face of a rut or heat, but betas didn’t get that surge of hormones. 

And let’s face it, neither did he, anymore. It had been six years since Riley had died, abruptly and traumatically severing their bond. If a bond was allowed to taper off naturally, the body returned to its natural cycles without much issue. A bond broken by trauma? Sometimes the cycle returned, sometimes it didn’t. Even with modern medicine and research, there was no consensus on why the body did or did not heal from the severed bond.

Sam focused on his strawberry shortcake, with home-made whipped cream and the freshest strawberries he could get without picking them himself. When he finished, setting his fork down on this plate, he noticed Steve looking at him, a politely curious half-smile on his face.

“You’ve been awful quiet. What’s on your mind?” Steve asked.

“Oh, you know. Been thinking about the past few days,” Sam said, truthfully, but omitting a few pertinent facts.

“Yeah, it’s been something, hasn’t it? You look kinda tired. I haven’t been pushing you too hard, have I?”

Sam shook his head.

“And you’d tell me if I were, right?” Steve asked, pulling out his wallet to pay for their meals.

“Don’t worry, I would and will,” Sam agreed. He picked up his glass to finish off the last bit of his water and crunched into an ice cube as Steve paid the waitress. 

Sam fished some cash out of his pocket to leave a tip on the table and stood up to stretch his legs. Steve followed suit and led the way back out to their car. The sun was setting over the parking lot in reds and oranges and streaks of mauve; the air hadn’t yet begun to cool much from the warmth of the day. He didn’t think he’d need the AC on, but it was certainly nice enough to keep his window down for however long it took them to find a hotel or motel. They weren’t out in quite the middle of nowhere, but it wasn’t New York or Washington by any stretch of the imagination. Steve pulled the car out onto the road and they began looking for somewhere to spend the night.

\----------------

“Wow, this place looks busy,” Steve said, scanning the motel parking lot, packed with everything from sporty coupes to soccer-mom mini vans. “Do you suppose they’ll have any rooms available?”

“They haven’t lit the ‘no vacancy’ sign yet,” Sam noted. “But that might just mean the desk clerk hasn’t had a chance to get to it yet. I say if you can find a parking spot, we might as well go in and ask.”

Steve nodded and slowly circled the lot until he found a spot in the back and underneath a mulberry tree. Willing to risk birds (or at least willing to take the rental through a gas station car wash before returning it), he pulled into the parking spot and cut the engine.

“Do you want to grab our bags now or wait until we know if we’ve got a room?” Steve asked, finger hovering over the trunk release.

“We’ve each only got the one bag,” Sam said. “If we get a room, good. If we don’t it’s not like we’re hauling six suitcases back across the parking lot.”

“Well then, let’s press our luck,” Steve said, popping the trunk and exiting the car. “I’ll grab the bags and meet you in the lobby.”

\------------

The young man at the counter looked like he wasn’t even out of high school yet. His eyes were fixed on his computer screen as he clicked around. “Well,” he finally said, still looking at the monitor. “It looks like we’ve got one room available tonight, but it’s only got one bed. It’s a king, but still. I’m not supposed to recommend other places, but if you wanted, there’s a Motel 6 a few miles up the road that might be less busy. I could give you their number so you can call ahead? It’s the Strawberry Festival this weekend, so that’s why we’re so busy.”

Steve looked to Sam. “I mean, if you don’t mind, I’m ok with sharing. It’s nothing I haven’t done before, and in far less nice places.”

“I don’t much feel like doing any more driving tonight, so sure,” Sam said, pushing down the little flutter of giddiness in his stomach.

“Great, we’ll take it,” Steve said, pulling out his wallet and handing his credit card and ID to the clerk.

Sam shifted slightly on his feet and tried not to look too nervous. Or too excited. But mostly nervous. Steve didn’t _know_ , did he? He couldn’t. If he knew, he might not have been so fast to suggest sharing. But then again, maybe he would. Steve trusted him, and Sam would never break that trust.

The sudden appearance of a motel key card in front of him brought Sam out of his abstraction. He took it from Steve and thanked him. He stuck the key card in his pocket, grabbed both his and Steve’s bags, and asked Steve to lead the way because he hadn’t actually caught their room number.

\---------------------

Sam woke abruptly, uncomfortably sweaty with a spreading slippery wetness in his boxers. There was no mistaking this feeling. It had been so long, but he knew it immediately: somewhere a few stages into a heat. If he’d been paying attention—if he’d _known_ he should be paying attention—he might have realized it earlier. But now it was probably something like two am, and he was stuck in a single-bed hotel room with Steve. Maybe he could manage to get out of bed and try to sleep in the bathtub for the rest of the night. Avoid any potential awkward moments, and easier clean-up. He peeled the sheet back and sat up slowly.

Steve stirred. Sam froze, turning his head to watch him. Steve rolled onto his side, facing Sam, but quickly settled back into stillness. Sam sighed, grabbed his pillow, and cautiously swung his legs over the side of the bed. 

And stepped on his shoe, which rolled awkwardly and caused him to stumble as he tried to stand. He fell back onto the bed, sitting down heavily. That definitely woke Steve.

“What’s happening?” Steve asked, switching the light on, immediately alert.

“Nothing, just going to the bathroom,” Sam whispered.

“And taking your pillow?” Steve asked rhetorically. “Are you trying to sleep in the bathtub? Did I do something wrong?”

Sam hesitated. He didn’t want to lie to Steve, but he didn’t really want to tell him that he had suddenly and unexpectedly gone into heat. Well, if he couldn’t tell already; Sam wasn’t sure how strong the scent was. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s nothing against you, but we probably shouldn’t keep sharing the same bed tonight.”

Steve sat up and fixed Sam with his oh-so-earnest ‘Captain America is peering into your innermost soul’ look. “I don’t think you’d lie to me, but that kind of sounds like an ‘I don’t want to hurt your feelings’ excuse, Sam. It’s ok, you can tell me.”

“I already said you didn’t do anything wrong,” Sam said, a note of irritability joining the swirl of hunger and want in him. Why couldn’t Steve just let him go before he did something he might regret? “Why do you keep asking? Can’t you tell?”

“Tell what? What’s wrong, Sam?”

“Use your nose, Steve. Tell me you don’t know what’s happening. I know you’re a beta, but you _have_ to know,” Sam snapped. He had to go _now_ , had to close himself away from Steve, away from the temptation. Steve wasn’t an alpha, but that didn’t stop him from wanting him. Hell, it might even have been his feelings about Steve that managed to trigger this heat in the first place. He’d spent most of this week either stuck in a small car with Steve or sharing a hotel room (if not usually room _and_ bed) with him. Given the amount of time and the strength of his feelings (and how he’d had to try to hide them), why couldn’t that have been the trigger?

“I didn’t want to mention it, if you didn’t,” Steve replied, glancing away briefly. “I know some omegas get touchy about their heats because it’s something so intimate, but that they don’t really have a lot of control over. And it’s something I’ve never had to deal with, so it’s never been my place to talk about it. But if you want your privacy for this, then I ought to be the one to go sleep in the bathtub, let you keep the bed.”

“While I appreciate your concern, Steve, I can’t,” Sam said, shaking his head.” And I’m sorry you have to find out like this, but I have to be the one to go because the bed smells too much like you. I’m pretty sure you’re the reason this is happening now. I promise I’m not blaming you, but I can’t think of any other reason why this would suddenly start up again _now_ after six years of nothing. I didn’t know I _could_ still go into heat anymore, but then you happened to me. And I’m sorry you had to find out about it this way. I never wanted to make you uncomfortable. If all you wanted was a friend, then that’s what I would be for you. And I have been happy to do it.”

“Sam…” Steve said softly, reaching out with the word.

“So, uh, I’ll go now,” Sam said, pointing towards the bathroom.

“Wait, please” Steve said, climbing out of the bed and crossing quickly to where Sam stood.

Sam paused, catching the subtle change in Steve’s voice. 

“I like you too, Sam,” Steve said shyly, reaching out to take Sam’s hand. “I didn’t want to say anything, though. I know things have gotten a lot more free now when it comes to relationships than when I was younger, but the alpha/omega and beta/beta views don’t seem to have changed much. I didn’t want to lose your friendship by being too forward.”

“You’re not just saying this to make me feel better?”

“I want you to feel better, but no, I would never lie to you to achieve that end. I meant what I said. I’ve liked you as more than just a friend pretty much since we met. We clicked so well, and if you were a beta, or if I were an alpha, I probably would have tried to ask you out weeks ago.”

“Really?” Sam asked.

“Really,” Steve replied, stepping even closer. “And if I _am_ allowed to be a little too forward, I know I’m not an alpha, but if you’d like a little ‘help’ tonight, I’m willing.”

Sam bit his lip, considering. Did he want this? Yes. Could it potentially make things a little weird between them? Yes. Was he going to do it anyway? 

Also yes.

“I think the vending machine we passed on the way up had condoms in it,” Sam said. “If you’ll take care of that, I’ll get ready.”

Steve grinned. He gave Sam a quick peck on the cheek and walked off to find his pants, wallet, and key card. He left the room, pulling the door shut quietly behind him. Sam put the pillow back on the bed, grabbed a bath towel from the bathroom, and spread it out on the bed. He stripped down, the air cool against his skin. 

When Steve returned, Sam was laid out on the bed, one knee raised, hand gripping his thigh. His other hand was tucked between his legs, the tips of his first two fingers disappearing inside him. He was breathing heavily, but carefully quiet out of respect for the neighboring rooms. Steve quickly shut the door behind him and crossed to his nightstand where he set down his wallet, key card, and two condoms (it never hurt to have an extra just in case). He shimmied out of his pants and boxers, peeled off his t-shirt, and climbed on the bed to lay down on his side next to Sam.

Sam turned his head lazily to look at Steve, who was smiling like an idiot at him, like he couldn’t believe this was really happening. I know that feeling, Steve, believe me, I know, Sam thought. 

“Can I kiss you, like, for real?” Steve asked.

“I thought you’d never ask,” Sam replied, not missing a beat.

Steve rolled in closer, placing one hand on Sam’s cheek, bracing himself slightly awkwardly on his other arm. Sam felt Steve’s breath on his lips for a moment before he was kissing him like he was life itself. Steve gasped as he broke the kiss, climbing on top of Sam, insinuating himself between his legs. Sam raised his knees and wrapped his arms around Steve’s back, pulling him close, one hand creeping up to his neck. Sam pressed his head back into the mattress, guiding Steve’s lips to his neck. 

“Mmm, that’s good. Just, no biting, please?” Sam sighed as Steve began to suck a hickey onto Sam’s neck just above his collarbone. “I don’t think I’m quite ready for that yet.”

“Anything you want,” Steve purred into the curve of Sam’s neck.

Sam groaned, dropping his elbows to the mattress and arching his back, pushing up against Steve as one of Steve’s hands found its way down to his clit, slicked-up fingers circling and teasing. Sam let the heat break over him, letting it take him away. He had Steve and Steve had him. He wanted this. After all the years thinking if he never had another heat, he wouldn’t miss it, he _wanted_ this. Wanted it with _Steve_ , who wanted him back.

Sam whined as Steve abruptly broke contact.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be right back. Just gotta get the condom on,” Steve assured, reaching over to get the condom off the nightstand.

“Make it quick,” Sam said, readjusting his position. He lifted his legs higher, inviting Steve in.

“This quick enough?” Steve asked, rolling the condom on and grabbing Sam’s knees, leaning in. He pressed the head of his penis against Sam’s hole, just hard enough to tease but not penetrate him.

“Oh, come on, Steve, don’t make me wait any longer, please,” Sam said, urging Steve on.

“God, Sam, you’re gorgeous,” Steve breathed, staring down at him. “I should have asked you out as soon as I knew how I felt.”

With that, Steve pushed slowly in, letting go of Sam’s legs and lowering himself down to lay chest to chest with Sam again, forearms pressing up against his shoulders. 

Sam moaned quietly as Steve began to roll his hips, digging his fingers into Steve’s back. Just because Steve couldn’t knot didn’t mean he didn’t know what he was doing. Steve had perfect aim, each thrust grazing Sam’s prostate, driving him wild with pleasure. Sam clenched his jaw, keening through his teeth as he came, gripping Steve with his legs. Steve continued for about a half-dozen more thrusts before coming with a shudder, collapsing onto Sam, laying heavily on top of him.

“So, now what?” Steve asked after catching his breath.

“Well, things being how they are, it might not be a bad idea for you to pull out,” Sam explained. “Getting fucked under you is one thing, but I don’t think I want to sleep like this.”

“Stop me if I’m being rude or prying,” Steve began, “but with an alpha, would you always have to do it doggy style so you’re not stuck like this with the knotting?”

“No, but there’s some awkward repositioning,” Sam answered, laughing a little. “I know I kicked Riley in the face on accident at least twice.”

“Well, I’m glad I at least get to avoid that,” Steve chuckled. “Unless that makes the experience more authentic, then I guess I could handle a kick or two.”

Sam reached up to touch Steve’s cheek, stroking it with the backs of his fingers. “Hey, our authentic is whatever we do. Don’t sell yourself short because we’re not a ‘traditional’ couple. Love is love.”

“I don’t care if it’s the mostly hormones that made you say it, I love you too,” Steve said, giving Sam another quick kiss before lifting himself off of him.

Sam gave a half sigh, half hiss as Steve pulled out. He stretched his legs back out, leaving them spread a little as he relaxed.

“I’ll be right back,” Steve said, still grinning like an idiot. 

Sam merely nodded, slipping into a deeper state of relaxation as the excitement of his orgasm faded into something more subtle. He lay back, feeling like he was floating a little, linking his fingers loosely over his stomach.

Steve returned shortly with a cup of water. “Thirsty?” he asked.

Yeah, he was pretty thirsty, Sam realized. He pushed himself up into a sitting position and took the cup from Steve. He drank it down and thanked him.

“No problem,” Steve said, sitting back down on the bed next to him. He leaned his head against Sam’s shoulder, arms pressed together, and they sat quietly like that. Sam closed his eyes and smiled, resting his head against Steve’s. While he and Steve may never have the same kind of bond he had had with Riley—that was basic biology—what they had was still real and still growing. It had been so long since Sam had let himself fall in love, and he wasn’t going to let it slip away from him. He sighed happily.

**Author's Note:**

> In my a/b/o headcanon, all alphas, male, female and any other gender identities, have penises, all omegas have clitorises (which are also larger than your average real life human version, and contains the urethra, so kind of like a really sensitive micro-penis but no accompanying testes), and betas are more along the lines of what we’re used to in real life. But no knots for male betas. All sexes have some form of a gland which we will call the prostate for ease of terminology. In alphas and male betas, it produces seminal fluid. In omegas and female betas it has a role in lubrication. Betas are sterile.


End file.
